We’re entering week 7 of shelter in place — or maybe it’s week 70? Getting hard to tell these days — and things are going great. My quarantine beard is now Methuselah length, my window sill garden is booming, and my blood sacrifices to the old gods has so far kept the ‘Rona from darkening my doorstep. But great googly moogly, is it boring being cooped up inside like this for days on end. Sure, being a homebody was all well and good before the pandemic but hanging out alone isn’t nearly as fun when it’s mandatory. At least we have this week’s top entertainment headlines to keep us warm in American exceptionalism’s fading light.
This deal may make that $50/month subscription fee a bit easier to swallow, especially with news that HBO and Cinemax are arriving on the platform as well. But seriously, how big does that pineapple under the sea have to be if Spongebob is barely half a head shorter than Stephen Colbert?
With the quarantine having effectively shuttered their movie houses throughout the country (and into the foreseeable future), many chains are scrambling to supplement their cratered incomes any way they can. Alamo, for its part is opening its entire catalog — from contemporary hits to obscure Camp classics — for digital rent and purchase as Alamo On Demand. prices range from $4 to $15 depending on the title and whether you plan on keeping it.
There are some indoor pastimes that we’d be better off without. Such as, I dunno, spending your days pushing hoaxes and misinformation about the deadliest pandemic in generations to the Twittersphere. Why not take up a less heinous hobby like puppy punching or kitten kicking?
Don’t lie to yourself, we all know you’re gonna pick up a PS5 this holiday season, but it doesn’t hurt to see what the competition is bringing. We even cut out all the needless fluff from the preview event for ya!
The only thing that irritates me more than knowing that NASA is selling out its scientific morals to make a quick buck is the knowledge that this movie, like nearly all Tom Cruise flicks to date, is going to be surprisingly good.